July 2024: Resonances
Quakerly connections and some updates to my Substack!
Dear friends,
This past month has been a reminder of how amazing it is to connect with people who are like me. I attended the Friends General Conference biannual Gathering and got to meet a lot of other young adult Quakers and Seekers who were eager to connect and to support one another. I got to chat with several folks about the intersections of neurodivergence, queerness, and spirituality, which felt awesome, because I find that my experience is very characteristic of being in this intersection, such that I can sometimes struggle to feel a sense of belonging in social spaces centering only one of these identities.
I also celebrated my birthday with a couple neuroqueer friends. I don’t usually celebrate my birthday by hanging out with people, mostly because I don’t hang out with people much. My mixed neurodivergence causes me both to need less social interaction and also to sort of forget that people exist, despite my also being extremely humanistic in my values. But my birthday gathering was fun, as we played a language trivia game (League of the Lexicon) and sang songs together.
In a few days, I will be attending the Creative Music Intensive run by Arts, Letters, and Numbers in Averill Park, NY. I will be workshopping the first song in a song cycle for soprano and string quartet that I am working on. The cycle is called Five Stages of Mad Genius, and it is about the different ways that artists of various disciplines can wrestle with the concept of the mad genius. The first song depicts a poet who has bipolar and is facing a creative block, who considers skipping their meds in order to overcome the block. (Obviously this is informed by my own experiences, but it’s also distinct, as what tempts me to skip my meds is not creative productivity but rather spiritual intensity.) There is so much more I could talk about regarding the philosophical structure and narrative underlying the song cycle, as there is so much of my introspections that is going into this, but I will have to share more later once the cycle is complete.
There was supposed to be a faculty vocalist who was to perform my song with the quartet in residence, but unfortunately she can’t come anymore, which means I might end up singing my own song. That will be a new experience, as I have not sung a classical song in concert before. But the song works well for my voice, so I think I’ll be okay.
Last night I had a really bad argument with my parents, who did not want me to attend the intensive. They worried that I would have a mental breakdown and wanted me to stay closer by to them so that they can rush to me if I need help. My parents have a history of being overprotective of me, and I quickly realized that they were being manipulative, essentially telling me that I should not go because my attending will make them “worry to death” and cause harm to my relationship with them. Their worry about me started to infect me with worry about myself.
But then I consulted with a friend, listing the safety measures I will put in place for myself when attending the intensive, such as prioritizing rest over social engagements, communicating with others about my needs when overwhelmed, and increasing my medication dosage if I start to get manic (as instructed by my psychiatrist, who strongly believed that I was okay to attend the intensive). Knowing that I have strategies and procedures to respond to my mental health needs — and being willing to take a day off or more if things get to be too much — I feel more confident that I can manage the inevitable times of stress.
In the end, my parents did allow me to go. If they didn’t, I would still go because I am an adult who can drive and make my own decisions, but I’m glad they stopped trying to manipulate me.
Announcing…paid subscriptions and more!
Starting today, I am opening up the option of paid subscriptions to Marginal Notes! Many people on Substack offer paid subscriptions in different ways and for different reasons. Since I prioritize accessibility and do not want to paywall my writing, signing up for a paid subscription to Marginal Notes will not get you any special perks or access to content. If you are able, I invite you to sign up for a paid subscription with the sole purpose of supporting the work of a young writer and artist. Suggested prices are $5/month or $50/year. There is also an option to be an Outstanding Supporter at a suggested amount of $150 a year.
I have also opened up a Chat to allow subscribers to discuss the monthly Contemplative Offerings and potentially other topics. If you have the Substack app (which I highly recommend, as there are many awesome Substack writers out there), you can join the Chat here:
Additionally, I have updated the look of my Substack on the web, rewritten the About page, and slightly restructured my newsletter. From now on, posts will be categorized as either Updates or Essays. Updates are the same as before: monthly posts like this one that have a mostly fixed structure and that are a little more like a traditional newsletter. Essays is the combination of the old Musings and Narratives sections and will consist of posts published every week that I do not publish an Update.
I know I’ve been a little less regular with my non-Update posts in the past few months. I’m using this revamping of my newsletter as an opportunity to recommit to writing regularly, acknowledging that things do happen, but it’s never too late to try again.
Post Roundup
Some spiritually-oriented posts from this month.
The Legend of Yuliang
Several generations past, an ancestor on my father’s side worked in the Chinese city of Suzhou as a merchant. His family lived in the countryside, but he had gone to the city to make a living. He lived in tumultuous times, in an empire weakened by corruption and European colonization. He lived during the Taiping Rebellion of the mid 19th century, whe…
Reflections after Gathering
Earlier this month, I attended Friends General Conference’s Gathering at Haverford College. I’ve been struggling to write about my experience there and afterwards. But let me try.
Featured Creator
This month’s creator is Simon Purchase James! I met Simon at Friends General Conference’s Gathering. At the young adult talent show, Simon sang beautiful songs and led us in a sing-a-long in the science building rotunda.
Simon Purchase James creates concert experiences full of endearing improvisations and audience interactions through original songs and covers of old favorites. Inspired by the history of musical traditions from across the globe, Simon’s storytelling captures the beauty and wonder in the world around us, the love between us, and the joy of community through kinship with all Earth’s inhabitants.
A classically trained vocalist and an elegant guitar player, Simon offers beautiful songs with timely messages, and deep compassion.
Inspired by the likes of Pete Seeger, Carrie Newcomer, Bobby McFerrin, and John Prine, he’s a troubadour for audiences of all ages. You’ll be pleasantly surprised to be singing along with Simon!
Instagram and TikTok: @SimonPurchaseJames
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/simonpurchasejames
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/simonpurchasejames/videos
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/simonpurchasejames
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/musiciansimonjames/
A Contemplative Offering
According to Carl Jung, “Archetypes are the living system of reactions and aptitudes that determine the individual’s life in invisible ways.” Take a look at this huge list of over 325 archetypes. What archetypes do you relate to most in your life? Which ones might you want to lean into and explore more?
Often, people say that the “mad genius” is a myth, as in not real. In my experience, it is also a myth, as in a story about life, perhaps about my life. Stories are as real as selves are real. Thoughts? Responses? Critiques?
(I’d really love to hear your responses to the second offering, so even if you don’t want to join the Chat, please comment on the post to share your thoughts.)