On Saturday, the youth choir I accompany went to Roosevelt Field Mall. We were on our New York concert tour, and this was one of our leisure activities. The mall was to me unexpectedly busy, as the malls nearby where I live look abandoned with few stores and shoppers. There also happened to be a loud music event happening inside the mall. Even with my earplugs and light sensitivity glasses, it was overstimulating.
I decided to tag along with one group of kids and their chaperone, since I didn’t have chaperone duties but also didn’t want to end up alone in a stressful situation. While they visited one store, I found a station where a person who claimed to be a psychic was selling her services and crystals. I had never had a psychic reading before, so I was curious what it would be like. Given that I am a sensitive person myself and was feeling overwhelmed in the mall, I wondered if interacting with this “psychic” could feel supportive, like we could connect concerning our sensitivities. I didn’t really care so much about hearing a prediction of my future or something like that, but I did want emotional care in that present moment.
I agreed to a $20 psychic reading, despite finding the cost high. It ended up being the only money I spent at the mall other than lunch, so I don’t feel so bad for spending it. The psychic told me to sit down and think about something that I wished for. I thought about my wish for good mental health, given how anxious and overwhelmed I was. It felt like that she was glaring at me, like she was trying to peer into my soul. The beginning of the reading was totally vague, things like “You are a good person” and “You are on a journey this year.” Immediately she seemed to me an obvious fake, but I was stuck listening to her bullshit.
Then she said, “There is a man in your life whom you are confused about. Who is he?” The question irritated me. Clearly, she was assuming that I was a cishet woman who desires romantic love. Although I can be attracted to men, I am quite indifferent about sex and romance, not because I am asexual or aromantic, but because I am autistic and emotionally detached. So I refused to answer, saying instead “what?” and “I don’t understand.” She persevered with the question for some time, but then she gave up.
Her next statement was, “You see a doctor for something. Is that right?” I decided to answer truthfully, that I see a psychiatrist for bipolar. At first I believed that this was the only perceptive observation she made of me, assuming that she saw how anxious I was and made a guess that I had a psychiatric condition. But later, other people pointed out to me that most people do see a doctor for “something,” even if it’s just an annual checkup. Still, I doubt that she was expecting an answer like I have diabetes or asthma or something else physical, as she then began to aggressively sell her $90 “chakra cleansing” to me, claiming that it would heal my psychiatric malady.
After I refused the “chakra cleansing,” saying that I was with the choir and did not have time that day to do a cleansing, she went back to the topic of love. She claimed that I will marry someone and have two kids. When I truthfully told her that I do not want kids, she said, “I know you don’t. But you will have kids.” This really triggered me. My parents have both repeatedly insisted either that I should have kids or that I might change my mind about not wanting to have kids. I don’t want kids because it would not be compatible with the lifestyle I want to have, as I want to have the freedom to follow my interests without having the lifelong responsibility of taking care of my own kids. I could work with kids as part of a job, but I don’t want my own kids. But the psychic’s statement triggered my OCD, which fixates on the inherent uncertainty about the future and persistently asks me, “But what if I do want kids?”
For the rest of the day, I had to fight back against the superstitious, obsessive belief that the psychic might by chance have predicted my future in regards to kids. Added to the overstimulation of the mall, it made me feel quite unwell, and I ended up being escorted out of the mall so that I could rest inside of one of the choir vans.
This “psychic” was obviously a manipulative fake earning money from preying on people’s vulnerabilities. She also was very unobservant and kind of cruel with how insistent she was with forcing cisheterosexual norms onto me. I’m sure that there are others who call themselves psychics who do better work with clients, using whatever perceptive skills they have, regardless of whether they are “true” psychics. I have experienced psychic phenomena in my own life, so I do believe that they can happen, but I also believe that people can be observant in ways that may not be actual extra-sensory perception, so they may still give helpful readings. But now I know to be more discerning, to verify a so-called psychic’s authenticity before proceeding with a reading.
The moral of the story: if you want to have a psychic reading, do some research on the person before proceeding. And if there are topics that can trigger you or make you freaked out, a psychic reading might not be a good idea.
Hey Margin, this was such an intriguing read! I like how you dissected what the psychic said and left room for doubt. I also want to say that you have every right to be triggered by her assumptions!